Just gave myself my Humira injection for the fortnight. It’s a really strange sensation injecting yourself… for some reason I feel like I should have someone with me when I do it. It’s not that I am not sure how to do it and need to be “spotted”, it’s just that for me, there is sort of this lonely feeling of doing it, like I am medicating myself all on my own. Super strange, considering I take my own meds without anyone needing to be around me (in fact, I prefer to do it privately anyway!), but stabbing a needle into your belly just seems a little more invasive, thus a little more “real” that there are things not quite right with your body. I mean, we can take tablets for anything and everything really – you got a bad headache, take a Panadol… take vitamins if you have a cold – so taking medication isn’t too far of a stretch from the norm. But when I’m puncturing myself to administer medication into my blood stream, it is a little full on.
I must say, the injections have become much easier to do – leaving them out of the fridge the night before and it’s easily accepted…it’s a whole 20 second procedure really, of wiping your belly with an alcohol swab, pinching your skin/flab, lining up the needle/pen to 90 degrees to your belly, and then pressing the button down which stabs the needle into you, and then you count to 10 while you wait for the plunger to go all the way down. And that’s it. Simple. Still a bit painful, but not ridiculous like the first time. I guess it doesn’t help when the injection site looks like this a few hours after it’s done!
Anyone else feel weird about injecting themselves alone? Is it something that I will get used to? Or should I just get my husband to sit with me while I do it? Maybe I need to figure out what it is that really bothers me or that makes me feel sad about doing it. It might be that it’s a new treatment that I’m not used to yet. Or maybe it’s because it makes the whole healing with Crohn’s process seem really real and severe. And even though this is a perfect treatment for me who likes to be in control of my healing (what is more controlling than shoving a needle into your tummy?), I guess emotionally I am still not so ok with it yet.
Yet, yet, yet, yet, yet… the magical word of optimism. I’ll get there…soon…