Tag Archives: #motivation

Crohnology

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No, I haven’t mispelled chronology – as a History teacher I know how things work in a timeline. What I’ve found in my research and through my searching of treatments that there is a fantastic site called Crohnology which is for Crohn’s sufferers to connect to other Crohnies in their area and trade treatment secrets. When you join, you identify when you were diagnosed, what treatments you tried, and your own wisdom about what worked and didn’t work and the reasons behind it all.

It’s all about Crohn’s patients empowering themselves and others with hopeful advice on treatment options out there, without the feeling that certain doctors are advocating specific treatments, or offering you advice on conflicting treatments. It also gives you the opportunity to chat with other Crohn’s patients, ask questions in forums, and indicate how you are feeling currently on a scale. A great place to start searching for answers, and also a great place to visit when you are having one of those shitty “Why me? day, and you can go online to this support group and see that you are not alone.

 

Clarity, Strength and Healing.

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While I was doing a head stand in yoga class today, these 3 words “Clarity, Strength and Healing” came to mind – now I know my mind should be clear during my yoga practice, but I welcomed these words as being the new mantra that I need to focus on. After all, it did come to me while I was hanging upside down…clearly it was a message from my inner depths after an hour of blissful and intense yoga that my body and mind needed me to know. So here I go, listening to my body (as we all should, so that we may know what is really best for us), and understanding what it all means, and what my intentions have to be:

Clarity: Be clear about what I need to do to stay healthy – balance of medication, surgery, supplements and diet. Be clear with my communication with my doctors about what I want for my healing process too, on my terms, not only on theirs.

Strength: Gain strength emotionally and physically. Be strong in moving forward and confidently dealing with it all.

Healing: Heal from within. Look after myself through my clarity and strength, and the healing will continue happening. I am currently healing. I am currently healthy.

Om Shanti Shanti Shanti xx

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When everything goes wrong, remember this…

Lifebuzz putting things into perspective…

As much as I would like to NOT have Crohn’s, I have to admit that I agree with #1 that pain is a part of growing, and that my scars are symbols of my strength from #4. They have created who I am today…which is why I ultimately just keep on going (#8)!

Enjoy the read.

Improvement!

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So it’s been over 6 weeks since I’ve started my new diet plan and have introduced many vitamins and supplements to support my system. This has all happened under the care of Dr. Yuwen Lee at Pymble Grove Health Centre (http://pymblegrove.com/practitioners/dr-yuwen-lee) who I was introduced to me by my mother, who was seeing her for her thyroid issues. My mum, a warrior for good health and preempting anything gnarly that might happen to me due to my Crohn’s, booked an appointment for me in September last year for February this year (so 6 months in advance, so call Dr. Lee now to make your consultation time for next year!) because she swore that Dr. Lee was absolutely fabulous and that I should see her to get some help. I didn’t imagine that I would be seeing her a week BEFORE my relapse and return to hospital, and that this was the PERFECT marker for me to compare the before and after effects of her guidance and treatment.

When I first went to see her, I was more concerned about getting to her, as she is almost an hour’s drive from my house! What a hassle I was thinking, but now, she is SO worth the drive! She is very friendly and before I knew it I was telling her EVERYTHING about my life. Prompted by some interesting questions, such as: “Would you describe yourself as a patient person?”, “Do you dream vividly?”, “What foods do you crave?”, I divulged in that 1.5 hour session my whole mental and physical functioning, including my moods and reactions to certain scenarios… which I couldn’t believe was relevant… but soon found out how it was ALL connected…
She weighed me, did a blood text, did a pinch (fat) test, touched my skin and hair texture… it was VERY comprehensive and I felt like I could trust her and that this was all good value to the small fortune I was paying her for the appointment.

Anyway, every 6 weeks I’ve gone to see her to check in on how things are working, how I am maintaining my health, managing which supplements to take, getting B12 injections, and my most recent visit to her on Wednesday proved that things are actually improving, just through a change in diet and taking supplements!
She went through her questions again and then highlighted how my responses were different now to what they were initially 4 months ago – I am no longer constipated, no bloating, no wind (seriously, I hardly EVER fart now – yes, girls do fart – and I notice it when my husband farts, I’m like “Hey! That wasn’t me, I haven’t farted all day…actually, didn’t even fart yesterday…or the day before…”), my energy levels are amazing, I feel lighter but stronger, my skin is glowing, my hair feels softer and I am not losing it in clumps, I feel alert, I can concentrate for longer periods of time, I’ve lost over a kilo of bad fat but have built up good fat (which means my body is now absorbing protein) and I am more patient and calm… seriously! It’s amazing! Just through diet and taking supplements where I have deficiencies has made ALL this difference. And I know this because the western medicine I am also on has been the same for the last 9 years and this is the NEW thing I introduced to my healing regime and I am feeling a difference, I am feeling the best I have felt in a super long time! I think it’s pretty incredible, and for someone like me who likes to feel in control (especially with my Crohn’s), knowing that I have contributed to this improvement of my health is just such a great feeling and achievement.

In all honesty, I had to change my diet enormously, which was sad and challenging at first to eliminate everything I loved eating… and I am on a LOT of supplements (recall my pillbox blog!) which can be annoying to take on top of my medication, but I’m taking them. Just to list a few of them: Zinc, Vitamin B, Vitamin E, Vitamin D, Pro-8 200 and Nilstat (probiotics), digestive enzymes, omega-3, cod liver capsules, and a bunch of other things for gut healing, liver support, biochemical imbalance and antioxidants. … just doing what I need to do, to feel and get better. And it’s working! That stage of feeling like I need to do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING to recover just pushed me into that focused zone of healing (and at times, sacrificing!) and now I am reaping the rewards!

To be fair, there are still symptoms of my Crohn’s that I would like to be different (I can’t claim that I’ve cured EVERYTHING), and I am not saying that diet and supplements are the ONLY way to heal Crohn’s, but it definitely helps SUPPORT the work that you are ALREADY doing to stay in remission. And when you feel this good – lighter, stronger, more energy, happier, calmer- you kinda don’t wanna go back to the way things were before, when you could eat whatever you wanted. We’ve all known for some time that eating healthier and taking the right vitamins for your body is good for our health in the long run, so actually putting that knowledge into action is really not THAT big of a mission to adopt. If I can do it, you can do it. I mean, I still crave pizzas (I’m not perfect! I’m not a fully fledged “eat right for your body” guru yet!)…I freakin’ love pizza and miss eating it…but hey…Give a new diet and vitamins a TRY at least! See how good you can feel too…you’ll love the difference, so it’s all worth it in the end xx

A day and night out with Crohn’s…

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I promise you can still have fun when you’re out and about and have Crohn’s Disease. You don’t have to hide away and shun yourself from socializing because you have an autoimmune disease. Going out while managing Crohn’s can make things difficult, down to toilet location/accessibility and menu choices, but there are definitely ways to get around these challenges. Here are some of my experiences:

Yesterday was my best friend’s 30th birthday party, and it was a great day! The birthday girl, being aware that there are a few of us in our circle of friends that have food intolerances, was very thoughtful in her selection of options for the banquet style lunch we experienced, which was so great, especially when struggling with a digestive disorder. If you get invited to go somewhere that you haven’t eaten before, you can always check out the menu online (thank god for the internet!) or even give the restaurant a call before the event and see what they serve or whether they provide alternative options to support your dietary needs. I mean, even recently I went to a Japanese restaurant with a girlfriend and brought my own tamari, which is gluten-free soy sauce. She didn’t care that I whipped it out of my handbag (she even asked to have some!), the restaurant didn’t seem to bat an eyelid about it, and I certainly wasn’t going to give a shit if people stared at me. Funnily enough, even though I told the waitress that I couldn’t eat gluten, I was still served a battered salmon dish, even though I asked for a grilled fish. I sent it back to the kitchen to get it rectified, and then it was fine. Don’t feel bullied to eat what they serve you if it’s not right! You feeling sick and in pain is not a good trade off for having a moment of being a little annoying to restaurant staff! Thank god (but sadly) we live in a time where food intolerances are abundant, so restaurants are used to being asked to change things on their menus. Just tell the wait staff before you order and they’ll make a note of it to pass on to the kitchen. So if you are invited out, you can choose to either decline the invitation (which is sad, because hanging out with people makes you feel good!) or you can suggest another dining venue that you know works with your needs (most people will understand this) or you can just choose to eat prior to meeting everyone, and then just order a small “Crohn’s friendly” snack to eat while socialising with people. Obviously if you are going through a bad relapse, or you’re in hospital, don’t force yourself to go out! Listen to your body and see what you really need.

Back to my day yesterday, the only thing I should’ve probably stayed away from at lunch was the caramelized pear served for dessert – I only took a spoonful of it because I knew the sugar in it would probably make my guts unhappy, but what was even more pleasantly surprising was that after I have been avoiding processed sugar, that one spoonful tasted SOOOO sweet, it was a bit too much anyway! This was a nice reminder that even though I am making dietary “sacrifices”, my body is happy with these choices. Anyway, for whatever reason (hopefully it wasn’t that pear spoonful! Because then I am REALLY sensitive to fruit), later on as the night progressed while celebrating, I had the “liquoops” – this is a term I have coined to describe liquid poops. It’s not quite as messy as diarrhea, in the sense that you can hold it in time to make it to the loo, but its not a formed poo and you still have to go a couple of times. I stupidly wore a body suit – let me tell you, that shit is difficult to manoeuvre off your body when you are trying to sit down on the toilet! If you have IBD and own a body suit, jumpsuit, overalls or any other type of clothing that requires time to remove it, DO NOT WEAR IT! My body suit was a bloody nuisance. Didn’t make any accidents luckily, but it does add to the anxiety! Because you never know what the toilet queue is going to be like (and women take so much time in the toilet! Super annoying). Speaking of accidents, it doesn’t hurt to keep a spare pair of pants in your car…I’ve learnt from experience!

Another thing that I did to help with my Crohn’s while I was out was I drank water the whole day. I can’t drink alcohol at the moment (or maybe for a long while…) because alcohol will really hurt my guts. It can be too acidic, it can also be too sugary, is too toxic for my liver while it’s processing other treatments, and plus, it doesn’t mix so well with medication. And I’m not talking about the fun and easy type of “drunk” you used to get as a teenager when you were on antibiotics and still decided to drink… as you get older, drinking while on antibiotics really hurts – cramping, nausea, bloating… it’s not worth it. I have no problem being the sober person at a party, mainly because my friends are awesome in every state, so I can have fun no matter what. If anything, I just get jealous or bored that I am not on their level of drunkeness, and then I secretly start craving a drink…but then I realize, it’s not worth it – no matter the celebration. Recently I have been at weddings and other 30ths and have not had a problem with not drinking. If people who don’t know me ask me why I’m not drinking, I just say I’m on antibiotics – it’s not a lie, as I AM on antibiotics, but it avoids sharing the whole back story to my Crohn’s life! Even yesterday at the bar, when I was with the birthday girl ordering her a mojito and asking for a glass of water for myself, the bartender even asked me why I wasn’t drinking! I just said I was the designated driver.
People will ask you at social gatherings why you aren’t drinking, but that’s cool, you’ve got very acceptable answers to give them such as “designated driver” or “being on antibiotics” without having to explain your situation. So don’t worry about being the odd one out! The people that matter don’t mind, and the people that mind don’t matter (cheers Dr. Seuss).

So go out and celebrate your life – enjoy the times when you are really well. Just be careful and mindful of what you put INTO your body (food and drink) and what you put ONTO your body (clothing), and stay close to the loo if needed!

 

Uncertainty…

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Not feeling so good. Crohn’s is all about this. You feel great one moment, and then not so great in the next.

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It’s the uncertainty of it all that drives me insane. As soon as you switch to “I’m not feeling so good” mode, you start to panic… you retrace your steps: what did I eat today? was it something I ate yesterday? what did I do differently? was my tummy not full enough before I took my meds? do I need to drink more water? should I take a Panadol? did I poo enough today? did I poo too much today?… it can be quite alarming that in the back of your head all of these thoughts evolve and no matter how much you try to distract yourself, you’re still constantly thinking about how you’re feeling. Note to self, do more meditation…maybe that’ll clear the crazy questions and feelings?

I’ve been noticing some symptoms showing in the last 2 days. You know, that feeling when your body doesn’t feel quite right. I’ve been feeling low on energy, had some swelling in the “downstairs” area, my stomach has been bloated and makes these squeaking and growling noises… So immediately I am in panic mode. I’ve been doing well since my relapse and now I’m like, shiiiitttttt…..

This is my thought process when I notice that things are going off track from my “feeling better and healthy” path;

First thought: FUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK!!! What’s happenening? Oh my God oh my god oh my god, shiiiiiiiiittttttttt…. (insert aforementioned crazy questions and retracing of the day at this point)

Second thought: OK! Ok, ok… you can do this girl. It’s ok. Breathe. Ok. You can handle this. It gets worse before it gets better (Who the hell came up with this phrase? I don’t believe it) but you’re ok. Ok. How can you manage this now?

Third thought: I’m calling EVERYONE to get help!

So today I called my surgeon and made an appointment for next Tuesday (the earliest appointment that they could accommodate. Can always cancel if things settle down), I called my gastroenterologist and made an appointment for this Thursday (AWESOME! ) contacted my Acupuncturist to squeeze me in for an additional appointment (I’ve got one booked for Saturday morning already).

All bases covered. It might be totally nothing (might actually be that whole “it gets worse before it gets better” situation…hmmmm….) but at least I am super more reactive about it. I’m so aware of my body at this stage that, if it doesn’t feel right, most likely something isn’t right. I’ve had to learn the hard way of course (if you remember my blog about my recent relapse, I was ignoring the different symptoms that were showing) so now I don’t wait around. I can always cancel appointments if it is just a “bad day”. This is all possible because I am not yet back at work. If I was at work right now, I would probably hesitate to make every appointment under the sun because my work just can’t accommodate me leaving so regularly throughout the week. So if you’re having a flare, or some weird symptoms, just make the call and make the ONE appointment you know can give you the answers you need to ease your panic.

In the meantime, I hope there is a Crohn’s doctor out there who is opening a clinic which takes appointments after work hours and on a Saturday. You would have a fuckload of business, I promise! For me, being able to balance my “normal” life (work and socialising) with my ‘Crohn’s” life is crucial for my well-being. It’s a control thing. It’s my thing. If I can do everything else that makes me feel normal, AND deal with Crohn’s, then I will certainly heal better.

At the end of the day, do what you have to do to make yourself better, whether it’s rest or seeing your doctor. Don’t let things get worse. Uncertainty is not a great place to be in to help you deal and heal… Wish me luck!

Food for your soul…and your Crohn’s

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During my periods of remission, I feel great! Healthy and strong and “normal”. In remissions, I feel like I am in control, like I don’t have Crohn’s anymore, and that I have unlocked the secret to staying healthy. How quickly I forget! It’s like I am SOOOO positive and optimistic about it that I actually avoid being realistic about having a life long autoimmune disease! It’s super annoying that I live in denial land so regularly…

I’ve felt so good in remissions before that once I actually halved the dose of my medication on my own, without my doctor’s permission. Even for a period of 6 months, I completely stopped taking any Western medicine as treatment. I was feeling really toxic on the meds that I had been on for 9 years, and figured that eventually I will have to wean off them, so why not start the process now? #dumb
In remission, I even start referring to my Crohn’s in the past tense “I did have Crohn’s…” and “I don’t have Crohn’s anymore”, because I honestly convinced myself that through my positive languaging and an honest awareness of my body, that I could do it. *Sigh*. Don’t get me wrong – being optimistic, using positive language and keeping aware of your body does tremendously AMAZING things to it. But it ALONE cannot cure Crohn’s. It’s a balance.

So during these periods of remission, I aimed to watch what I ate because because I had known for years that gluten and dairy flare the situation. And processed sugar was the devil. I had read about it, heard about it, doctors and healers had told me… so I wanted to take it on board and watch what I ate…
To be fair, I talked a LOT about eating better, but rarely put it into practice. I was on a “reduced” dairy and wheat diet, as opposed to eliminating them. I ate fruit (healthy right? WRONG! Way too much sugar for your digestive system) with coconut yoghurt instead of regular yoghurt (Coyo is seriously the best invention! Go buy some now!), I ate more salads (healthy right? WRONG! Raw food is super hardcore for your digestive system to breakdown), allowed myself the cheat binge sessions (hey, I’ve been good all week…) which saw me devouring a bag of Allen’s ‘Party Mix’ lollies (oh how I miss you…). I thought that I was eating relatively well! No, no, no… if you’re going to halve your meds, and stay super positive about it (mind over matter), you HAVE to support yourself with your diet. Now, I’m not encouraging anyone to do what I did and make random decisions about the status of their heath, (because in the end, it didn’t work!) I’m just sharing my experience because anyone with Crohn’s, or an illness, will tell you that they just get to a point where they don’t want to deal with it anymore. It’s like denial wrapped in determination to prove your doctors and your body wrong. But really, the point I want to get across here is that diet is a HUGE factor in managing your Crohn’s…. HUGE!!! What you eat really affects your insides! I know this is a fairly obvious point, but seriously, most of us don’t live by it.

To be fair, it took me AGES to see the connection and actually want to do something about it. I had countless people tell me that gluten and dairy and sugar were bad for Crohn’s, but because I didn’t feel unwell after eating them, I thought I was in the clear. I was younger and didn’t quite understand how diet really affected our bodies, especially because I was taking medicine and vitamins as well. Surely all that helps negate the bad shit I’m eating? The medicine is meant to make the symptoms go away. WRONG! I needed to help my body from every aspect, and not just depend on medicine and supplements. Eating crap while on your medication is like someone rubbing salt into a wound, or an alcoholic continuing drinking even though they’ve been diagnosed with a liver disease! They’re thinking “Well, I’m taking medicine to help with disease”…but the alcohol you’re drinking keeps feeding the disease!

I guess eating like everyone else was eating helped me feel normal… no one would have to know I was unwell if I was doing the typical social things (like eating and drinking) with them. What finally tipped me over the edge to change my diet was my recent relapse after a wonderful and beautifully long remission. I was now also older (hopefully wiser!) and ready to take on the responsibility of caring for myself and my health. I had access to research different studies and health websites and blogs and learned from health experts how diet can change your life. I now had access to the resources that I would need to have an alternative diet. Thank god we live in a world where there are supermarkets that are dedicated to alternative food options! Now you can go to restaurants that specifically cater for a paleo diet, vegan diet or even offer gluten and dairy-free options! 10 years ago this would’ve been extremely difficult, you would’ve been that wanker in the restaurant that the waiters and chefs roll their eyes at, and you just would’ve been a freak amongst the company you were with!

Another thing that woke me up to my diet was a recent food allergy test I did via my blood work. From this blood test, you can see that everything that exceeded the green colour zone was food that my body was reacting to. It looks all crumpled up because I carry that piece of paper with me to remind me to keep strong if I’m craving a cheesecake!

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I was sensitive to EVERYTHING I was eating! While my Crohn’s was in an active state, my immune system was attacking EVERYTHING foreign that was entering into my body, including the food I was eating! This meant that I was staying in an inflammatory state and I was creating a weakened and leaky gut from the food I was eating. I even told my doctor that I didn’t feel bad eating these foods though! Milk was the only thing I ate that I felt immediately bad after. And then she told me that I may not have have physical symptoms but my body is feeling it on a microscopic level! The blood work proved it! She said it can take up to 2 weeks for your body to respond to the food that you put in, and by that stage, you can’t remember what triggered you feeling unwell in the first place! When I got these results, I cried. I cried for a couple of days, mourning the loss of my favourite foods. I honestly didn’t know how I was going to do it! I now had to eliminate the following: gluten, dairy, fruit, processed sugar, nuts, dry beans, soy, corn, potato, eggs, mushrooms, yeast, chocolate, alcohol and coffee. YES! EVERYTHING! hahaha… but I turned my focus around to look at the things I COULD eat – lots of meat (I had a protein deficiency as well) and vegies, rice, buckwheat, sweet potato, honey, stevia, coconuts (absolutely adore!!)… it seemed restrictive at first but in actuality, it isn’t that hard. It helps that my husband is eating my diet, which we’ve labelled as being basically Paleo, but minus the eggs (but I can eat duck eggs, which are awesome. Kingsley’s Butchery in Rose Bay sell them, as they are hard to find!). So focusing on the good things you can eat, and not on the things you can’t eat, will help you get through the change in diet.

Another thing that pushed me towards the “I need to do this NOW” about my diet was the fact that I got recently married…it stopped being about me. I wanted to have a healthy life so I can be with my husband for as long as possible. And then I want to start a family one day. I cannot be in a sickened state and have a baby! Majority of the medications I am on will poison any child that I would want. I have to be off the meds for at least 3 months prior to even conceiving. It has to happen when we plan it to happen. I have to be super strong and healthy so that I can grow a baby inside of me! Every doctor I’ve seen recently I’ve had to tell them that I want a child in the near future, so they know which medications to put me on that are safe for having children with. I’ve already been told that I won’t be able to have children naturally and that I’ll need a C-section (no problem with that) so as to avoid ripping apart an already weakened area…and THAT was a wake up call for me that it’s more than me now that I have to think about.

I know its hard, trust me, it’s taken me 14 years to actually see and feel the difference that my diet has an affect on my constitution! So no shame if you’re not ready to change the way you eat! But I feel so good now, I can’t believe I didn’t try it sooner! You may feel fine eating what you are eating, but can you believe me that you can feel even BETTER when you eliminate the bad foods from your diet? DO what you need to do. Don’t just TALK about it.

When you get to a stage where you feel “I just don’t want to feel this bad anymore” then make a CHANGE. Just do it! When you get to that stage, whenever it might be, it’ll be worth it. I know people want to learn on their own and with their own experiences, but I hope this blog helps inspire you to get to that stage… it took a few key things to set off the “I NEED TO DO THIS!” urge, but I’m here. Finally. I am going to take control of this Crohn’s. From every direction – medicine, diet, exercise, rest, energetic healing, supplements…this is my magic formula.

With Crohn’s, its all about remissions and relapses. The relapses will happen in time (until they find a cure!) but the main idea is to stay in remission for as LONG as possible. And if eating differently manages symptoms, supports my immunity, counteracts side-effects of medications, then hells yeah, I’m going to do it! I hope you do it too… when you’re ready.

Testing, testing, 1, 2, 3…

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Yesterday, a friend of mine told me that they think they may have Crohn’s Disease after speaking with a doctor about their symptoms. She’s nervous about undergoing the necessary tests to confirm for sure, which is totally understandable. No-one likes to do blood tests, or collect their poo over a couple of days in little jars to send away. Or drinking barium (similar to drinking cement, and pooping out cement too!) to show contrast in an MRI scan to see where inflammation is.

And don’t even get me started about having a colonoscopy! Yeah sure, you are under General so you don’t feel them shoving a camera up your pooper, but for anyone who has ever done one of these tests, they know what I’m talking about when it comes to the preparation of a colonoscopy. Firstly, the day BEFORE the colonoscopy, you have to go on a clear liquids diet, which basically means you just drink water. You can’t have anything that is red or green in colouring (I think that these colours stain the colon and can confuse doctors as to what they are really looking at) or anything with sugar in it because sugar inflames the gut. Now, spending a whole day fasting from food and just drinking water doesn’t sound too bad – but it is because you do this while you have to drink this disgusting mixture called PicoPrep, which is just the fancy name for AGGRESSIVE LAXATIVE! You get given 3 of these sachets, including the timings of when to take them, which depends on when you are having your colonoscopy the next day – a morning colonoscopy requires you to finish the sachets the day before, and an afternoon colonoscopy likes you to spread the trauma of drinking one more sachet into the morning of the procedure. Now the first time you drink it, it doesn’t taste so bad… it has a lemony salty flavour to it… but it’s what it DOES to you that makes you HATE drinking it! I’m talking violent diarrhea (up to 30 times in the day! I’m sure there is some gross world record about how often you shit from your colonoscopy prep!), bloating, cramping, shooting pains through your guts… you feel exhausted from going to the bathroom so often, not to mention if you don’t have 3-ply toilet paper or more, your butt suffers! I will NEVER buy cheap toilet paper! I may go broke buying the 3000 count Egyptian cotton equivalent to toilet paper, but my god will it be worth it!
So after you feel like you’ve emptied every possible substance that exists in your body, and you go to bed hungry, crampy, exhausted and wishing never to see a toilet again (even though you may have to wake up in the middle of the night and still have to run to the loo), you wake up the day of your procedure and then have to fast completely from water for 6 hours before you go into hospital. And let me tell you, hospitals don’t trust anyone! Even if you’ve been there a million times to the point where the nurses and doctors are like, “Welcome back!” (they should give me a loyalty card… every 10th visit should be free!) they still will NOT take your word that you haven’t had anything to eat or drink since midnight, and will keep you waiting around for a couple more hours. By this stage, you are ready to shred the hospital staff’s faces off… I’ve actually gotten so worked up in hospitals before different surgeries or procedures because of being overtired, in pain, dehydrated and hungry (definitely I am a ‘HANGRY’ person) that I’ve abused staff, sobbed hysterically and have even been held down and sedated! Obviously in hindsight, that’s just a shitty thing to do to people who are working to help you, but hey, I’m human… meltdowns are part of my DNA. And to be fair, I haven’t had a tantrum in a hospital in a while (*cough* 3 months *cough*)… my bad.

Anyway, colonoscopies are seriously awful. I hate them. But at the end of the day, you need them! You need them so that you can know for sure what’s going on inside you. You need to know what needs fixing. The alternative is avoiding finding out what’s happening and having terrible pain, diarrhea, blood, constipation and feeling like your guts are going to explode from the inside. Having 2 days of fasting and horrible diarrhea isn’t REALLY that bad of a trade off. Complain how bloody awful they are (start a blog like this one!), bitch and moan to everyone about it… get it all out of your system because you just HAVE to do it. Just get on with it, deal with it, and get it done. It is better to know for sure what the state of your insides are so that you can start doing whatever is necessary to get better and to start healing.

Besides, you get to keep the pictures of your colon from the procedure as a souvenir! Who doesn’t want that? hahaha

Granny fun…

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I am totally excited about my “granny” purchase – pillboxes bitches! hahah So the blue one is for the morning pills and the red one is for the evening pills. Now don’t get too freaked out, this isn’t all the medication I have to take for Crohn’s! They are actually also lots of vitamins that I need to load up on to counteract side effects of medication and to help keep me super healthy and immune strong.

Now, the reason I put them in pillboxes is not only because I like to be uber organised (sometimes when you’re on autopilot with dealing with your illness, you can’t quite remember if you DID take your pills or not…), but also because when you have to take lots of pills to help with your health, nothing makes you FEEL sicker than when you have a bunch of pill bottles that you need to individually open, take out the quantity, swallow them, and then repeat the process again. Like below:ImageGROSS! Feeling sick looking at all that! Will put them all into pretty little boxes…
So at the beginning of the week, I just chill on my bed and sort my pills out for the week. I carry my pillboxes easily in my handbag so if I’m out and about and need to take them (they’re much easier to digest after having food in your belly! And also, taking medication shouldn’t stop you from going out and having fun), just pop open corresponding day and VOILA! Healing time! My magic number of pills I can swallow at one time is 9! Now, don’t go choking on your medication! But it does make things easier and quicker if you can swallow them in bulk. Also, remember to try and take them with a warm drink, as it helps dissolve capsules easier in your tummy.

Obviously the Chinese herbs or any other dissolvable medicine or vitamins that needs to be diluted can’t be carried in a pillbox, but I find adding them into hot water and creating a “tea” makes it easier to drink, because as much as those Chinese herbs help you, they can smell and taste like shit! For some reason when it is warmed up, your body is more receptive of it, it triggers a calming and soothing effect, instead of dry retching and holding your nose to swallow it down! At times, halfway through I have even convinced myself that I have drunk enough of the mixture, as it can be totally punishing!

So if you’re having a “I can’t do this anymore” moment when it comes to taking your medication, try pillboxes or warming things up to help ease the challenge. Remember, your medication and supplements are helping you get better, so don’t neglect to take them, and also, you may not have to take them forever! Just appreciate that they’re around for a little while at the moment to help you deal and heal.